Nic Cage, God of Acting (via i09) Please don’t diss. I know you can’t help but point out the glaringly obvious: the awful hair, the humorously over-the-top acting designed to overcompensate for partially blind or deaf audiences, the lecherous smile, the borderline psychotic off-camera shenanigans (ie: buying himself a pyramid as his eventual tomb).  All those things aside, there is and will be, no other like him. He will go down as the greatest and craziest, cult-movie method actor who owns every cool thing in the world and has successfully made a killing despite having entered the “I Seriously Don’t Give A Shit About My Career” phase since 1998 (that’s 14 years of Nic Cage mindfuckery). Which is why you should read this. Choice cuts:  “Nic Cage has starred in some of the greatest bad movies of all time. And he’s not like some actors, who just sort of cling to a shred of dignity while they’re roaming through terrible situations and insane moments of not-quite-comedy. Nic Cage works hard at being as bad as the movies he’s in. He studies schlocky acting until every movie is like a schlock masterclass. If watching bad movies is like a transcendent religious experience, then Nic Cage is our high priest. A truly horrendous movie can make you feel like you’re seeing the face of God. And then it melts!

Nic Cage, God of Acting (via i09)

Please don’t diss. I know you can’t help but point out the glaringly obvious: the awful hair, the humorously over-the-top acting designed to overcompensate for partially blind or deaf audiences, the lecherous smile, the borderline psychotic off-camera shenanigans (ie: buying himself a pyramid as his eventual tomb). 

All those things aside, there is and will be, no other like him. He will go down as the greatest and craziest, cult-movie method actor who owns every cool thing in the world and has successfully made a killing despite having entered the “I Seriously Don’t Give A Shit About My Career” phase since 1998 (that’s 14 years of Nic Cage mindfuckery).

Which is why you should read this. Choice cuts: 

“Nic Cage has starred in some of the greatest bad movies of all time. And he’s not like some actors, who just sort of cling to a shred of dignity while they’re roaming through terrible situations and insane moments of not-quite-comedy. Nic Cage works hard at being as bad as the movies he’s in. He studies schlocky acting until every movie is like a schlock masterclass.

If watching bad movies is like a transcendent religious experience, then Nic Cage is our high priest. A truly horrendous movie can make you feel like you’re seeing the face of God. And then it melts!

So this just happened. Vinnie Jones teaches you how to perform CPR. Don’t mess, it’s Vinnie fucking Jones! 

Ok, so I’m probably not gonna bother with Saints Row: The Third (see: Skyrim), but for what it’s worth, it deserves a mention for being a veritable kick-in-the-gonads victory for offensively OTT games.

The complete disregard for political correctness and single-minded quest for mother-sickening outrageousness makes this look like an insanely fun game to play. That is, if you’re okay with: 

  • Thwocking your enemies with purple dildo bats (note the choice of sound effect).
  • Army camo costumes? Pfft. How about full-body furry suits?
  • Repeatedly getting yourself get hit by cars to collect insurance fraud money.
  • Manapults = catapults + humans as ammo.
  • Naked skydiving.

Added to the fact that the game developers seem like genuinely funny, albeit twisted and slightly sociopathic guys gives this game an added dose of charm. Quote: “A good night for a furry is a terrible night for the dry cleaners.”

Get this if you’re huge on GTA but wish those guys who make weird Japanese sex-fetish games had a hand in it.

Chinese old-folks choir covers Gaga’s Bad Romance

Seriously, internet… what manner of fuckery is this? I guess I can die saying I’ve seen it all. Best cover, ever? 

Also: This kinda makes perfect sense - oriental melodies juxtaposed with geriatric, bouffant haired aunties in flower print blouses. 

Things that are guaranteed giggles: 

Best part - 4:10 onwards, where they walk into a convenience store run by Asians geriatrics who just watch mesmerized, yet unimpressed.

Via: i09

Internet Gold - Birds With Arms 

There are many things the internet is good for but there are few things better than this. Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like. Pictures of birds with arms.  

How it works:

  • Click Link
  • Scroll downwards
  • View pictures of birds with arms
  • Feel happy

Via: Bel

Can’t tell what’s the best/worst part about Gaga’s Paper Doll: Voltron costume, inseminated ovum onslaught or Huskies for tits? Part of me feels that next week, she’ll probably top this with an unimaginably freakish Cthulu meets Fred Astaire fashion abomination. Dress her up on the GQ site! Via: Bel

Can’t tell what’s the best/worst part about Gaga’s Paper Doll: Voltron costume, inseminated ovum onslaught or Huskies for tits?

Part of me feels that next week, she’ll probably top this with an unimaginably freakish Cthulu meets Fred Astaire fashion abomination. Dress her up on the GQ site!

Via: Bel

Carlos Tevez: The Singer

The horror. Footballers are, for the most part, intelligent with their feet, not with their heads. This is perfectly illustrated by the many ill-advised forays into industries they should’ve steered clear of - in this case, music.

Part of me wishes I’d never seen this. That way, the only impression I’d hold of him outside of football would be the slightly retarded South American member of the bizarre Evra-Park-Tevez triumvirate (I speculate, Tevez has since been replaced by Anderson).

For more painful footballer music mayhem, see: 

OK Go - “All Is Not Lost”

Almost by reflex, I’ve tended to overlook anything new by OK Go. They sell themselves as a sub-par band that compensates for mediocrity through sensationalized razmatazz. But you know how it is - the intrigue of adult men in body-hugging one-piece suits trying to teabag you through the screen tends to pique the curiosity.

I do have to admit that the bit where they start spelling out words was quite impressive, although, I did hold my breath for a while cos I was worried it’d start verging into Human Centipede territory.

(via firstlunchthenwar)