#12: “She’s The One” - Robbie Williams (1999)

I would feel sorry for the dude that was meant to be the girl’s original skating partner - he takes a tumble in the middle and Robbie replaces him. A Robbie cockblock is something you probably will never recover from. The dude fucking sommersaulted your ass. You’d never hear the end of it.

In 1999, I used to think Robbie Williams was cool. Which is funny cos he’s turned into a fat, crazy and paranoid git while skater #2 would’ve ended up mildly successful running an ice-skating rink/skating school with his mildly attractive non-skater wife.